


Sign with Black Ink

by silver_drip



Series: Killing me with Kink 'verse [7]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Coma, F/M, Flashbacks, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 23:05:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3787699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_drip/pseuds/silver_drip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Pepper sits at Tony's bedside, her mind wanders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sign with Black Ink

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eternal_Love_Song](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_Love_Song/gifts).



> Trigger warning: Mention of suicide attempt

Pepper sat by his bedside, elbows on her knees as she fisted her hands into her red hair. Silent tears marred her face.

_“Pep, you don’t need me anymore. The student has become the master,” Tony said while twirling a pen between his fingers. She raised a single eyebrow and he let out a huff. “Fine, but at least make it worth my while.” Tony patted his lap._

_“Just sign the damn papers, Tony.” Despite her words she sat on his lap. He nuzzled her cleavage and she flicked him on the ear._

The beeping was driving her mad, but she knew if it stopped the whole world would stop.

Pepper took in a deep breath while sitting up straight and trying to compose herself. She had gotten there as soon as she could, to the sight of the explosion, but SHIELD had already wheeled him off. It had taken her all day to finally get access to him. She practically had to have Jarvis knock down their digital walls just for her to get a face to face with Director Fury.

Tony was under ‘observation’, according to Fury.

All of Pepper’s biggest fears seemed to come to life in short span of five minutes. She had been on the company jet, reading over a report. The television was on mute and just on the edge of her vision. There had been a flash on screen, immediately catching her attention. The report fell from her hand when she saw smoke and Natasha’s body sprawled out awkwardly on the red carpet. She unmuted the television to reports of an explosion outside of the charity event.

And then the camera showed Tony motionless on the ground, blood gushing from him.

_“Fuck you.” Tony’s voice was almost a whisper. “Don’t you ever imply that I’m holding you back.”_

_“That’s not what I meant at all.” Pepper took a step closer to him and when Tony didn’t retreat she kissed him on the cheek softly._ _She grinned while glancing up at him and lacing their hands together. “I’d probably still be in accounting, fending off Mr. Sandt’s advances if you hadn’t hired me as your PA.” Slowly Tony grinned back at her._

_“You would have been running accounting in two years tops.”_

Then Loki appeared on screen.

Thinking back on it made Pepper laugh humorlessly.

She should have known he’d go immediately to Tony’s side if he was ever hurt.

Poor, lost Loki.

Pepper had sat frozen in her seat as she watched him perform some spell. She had never seen him look so determined before, his eyes glowing with green energy and power. Bruce tried to knock him away and Pepper wanted to shout at him to stop.

Loki would never-

He could never hurt Tony.

But she was here and they were there.

_“That’s really, really, really stupid,” Pepper said while fighting off a headache._

_“This is genius at work, my dear Lemon Drop.” Pepper’s face lit up with a blush at the nickname as Tony continued adjusting his new gauntlet, not even looking up at her. “It will be fine. I already have his kink all figured out.” Tony waved his screwdriver while glancing at her before going back to his gauntlet._

_“And what if his kink changes? He could kill you in an instant.” Pepper pulled Tony’s hand away from the gauntlet._

_“Everyone in Asgard is stupid. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll escape. If I don’t do something about it he will kill again.”_

_“As long as you have this under control. Tony,” he finally met her eyes head on, giving her his complete attention, “if you ever need help, if this pet project gets out of hand let me know. I’ll figure something out.”_

It had gotten out of hand though.

“You idiot.” She didn’t know if she was talking about herself or Tony.

He looked so pale. He was usually so vibrant and animated that it pained her to see him slow down, let alone be in a coma.

She took his hand and held it carefully, her thumb brushing at the small amount of exposed skin between the plaster casts.

“You know, I always thought that you would somehow outlive me.” She leaned down and kissed his hand, not wanting to move his broken arm too much. “Despite all the times you got alcohol poisoning, Afghanistan, the reactor poisoning you, this superhero business, and your suicidal tendencies- I just knew that you’d keep going.” Pepper’s voice broke and she couldn’t say anything else.

_“You’re going to tell me everything about this fucked up situation and you’re going to do it right now, or we’re going to arrest Iron Man and you’ll never see him again!” Fury had shouted at her, so close that she could actually smell his breath. With a quick movement she tasered him and he fell to the ground convulsing._

_Every computer on the Helicarrier suddenly went black before the Stark Industries logo appeared as the computers chimed back to life._

_“Any more questions?” Pepper asked while clicking her taser, causing it to make a threatening electric noise. “That’s what I thought.”_

Pepper heard Dum-E wheel into the room, along with Butterfingers and U. Dum-E let out a few concerned beeps while putting his claw on Tony’s and Pepper’s joined hands. Pepper let out a choked sob.

“You big idiot.” She quickly tried wiping away the tears, but they just kept reappearing. “How could you not understand that we all love you?” Pepper slumped forward, wanting to squeeze his hand, to wake him up. Her whole body was shaking. “Why did you have to knock Tasha aside? She’s trained for these sorts of things. She’s the one who fights without a suit, not you.”

_“Give me that!” Pepper swiped the drink out of his hand and Tony lurched forward, trying to grab it and falling out of his seat. He groaned on the floor, before curling around her leg._

_“Lemon Drop, help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up,” Tony slurred while holding onto her ankle. Pepper sighed half-heartedly. “If you don’t let go of my leg I can’t help you.” He kissed her pajama covered ankle before releasing it. She went down to her knees before helping him sit up, leaning him against the wall. “Reminds you of old times, doesn’t it?” She sat next to him and he leaned his head heavily against her shoulder._

_“What’s got you in a tizzy and what are you even doing down here.” They were in a storage room on one of the lesser used floors of the tower. Evidently Tony used it solely stored alcohol, that and one wasted engineer and a sleepy CEO._

_“Natalia ‘Super Assassin’ Tasha hates me.” Pepper could feel his tears seeping through her thin shirt. She turned slightly so that she could hug him. He let out a childish sound while hugging her tightly._

_“What did you expect? You threatened her son.” Pepper kissed the side of his forehead since it was the only part of him her lips could reach. “Besides, I think she’s more confused than actually angry.”_

“For a genius you’re pretty blind.” Pepper smiled sadly. Dum-E somehow nodded with his pronged arm and U chirped in agreement. Butterfingers let out a whirring noise after a few minutes and she patted the robot.

The door to the room clicked open, causing Pepper to flinch. Bruce walked in, looking almost as tired as Pepper felt. He handed her a cup of tea and took the seat on Tony’s other side.

_“What do you expect of me? I can hardly take care of myself! I’ve built up a whole fucking system so that I don’t have to! I can’t be a-” Tony cut himself off. “I use people. It’s just what I do.”_

_“Tony…” She didn’t know what to say to him. How could he make this about himself?_

_“Damn it, Yinsen.” Tony whispered to himself and Pepper only barely heard him. “I use everyone Pep, especially you. I pushed you to take a job I hate, you still cover for me every time I fuck up, I convinced you to sleep with other people because I felt bad for sleeping around, and now-”_

_“You didn’t make me sleep with other people, Tony.” Pepper had already been crying all day and was too exhausted to argue. Tony shook his head in response._

_“I crawl into Bruce’s bed whenever I feel too guilty, I get drunk and take bubble baths with Bucky when I don’t want to think, and Loki… I’ll never be able to right that wrong. He loves me Pep. After all I’ve done to him he thinks he loves me.” Tony fell silent and Pepper didn’t know what to say. “I can’t fuck up another person, but ultimately this is your decision. I’ll pay for any kid you have regardless of if it’s mine or not, but I can’t be a father. I’m not good enough to be a father.”_

“I’m guessing all those theoretical situations Tony came to me with were about Loki.” Bruce’s calming voice cut through Pepper’s thoughts.

“Probably. You always were his solace when things were at their worst,” Pepper said without looking up from her warm mug of tea. She could still see Bruce taking a sip from his own cup. “Are you angry at him?”

“Honestly, I don’t know how I feel. I just… I just hope I didn’t get Tony killed. I saw Loki and attacked on instinct.” The guilt was clear in his voice even though it was unfounded.

“Tony could never be angry at you for that, for trying to protect him.”

“I just don’t know what to think,” Bruce said softly.

“Either do I.”

_She knew that look, she hated that look, and it scared her more than anything else in the whole world._

_That vacant stare._

_“Jarvis, Code: Alpha-S.”_

_“It’s already been enacted, Ms. Potts,” Jarvis reported and Pepper let out a sigh of relief. Good, Tony wasn’t too far gone then._

_Pepper approached Tony slowly. His brown eyes held the barest tinge of recognition. His grip on the nearly empty bottle tightened._

_“Where is it, Tony?” Her voice was soft and a single tear slid down his face. She kneeled in front of him, trying to catch his eyes. “Talk to me please.” She felt her own body wracking sobs coming on, but pushed them down. She had to take care of this first._

_With the slight jerk of his chin he gestured to behind her. She turned around and saw a small table situated between two chairs. Pepper squeezed his leg before standing up. She took in a deep breath while walking over to the bland side table._

_With a shaking hand she opened the drawer and pulled out the handgun, blocking it from Tony’s view, scared what he might do if he saw it. Despite her crushing sadness and desperation she noticed that it was one of the earlier models Stark Industries made, probably one of the first Tony designed himself._

_She put the item into her purse along with the box of ammunition. Pepper turned back towards Tony, her face flushed and eyes glazed over._

_“Stay there.” Her voice was only a whisper. She paused, waiting for a response, but knowing she’d never get one. Pepper gulped down the lump in her throat before walking to the elevator, her heels making an almost painful noise compared to the silence. Jarvis opened the door for her and she set her purse inside the elevator, knowing the AI would dispose of the gun. Tony hadn’t moved an inch when she returned. She pulled up a chair and sat in front of him while taking one of his hands into her own. “Stay with me. Please Tony, stay with us. I love you. We all love you” There was a flash of something unreadable in his eyes. “Don’t go.”_

Pepper took a sip of her tea, wishing it had the same calming effect on her that she knew it had on Bruce.

“Don’t go,” she spoke the words she had said to him a thousand times at his darkest moments. Pepper leaned forward. “You’re not going to die. I won’t allow it. This isn’t some noble death or self-sacrifice. You’re not allowed to die.” Pepper set aside her mug of tea, straightening up her posture. “Jarvis, how much longer?”

“Fifteen minutes, Ms. Potts.” She nodded in response and Dum-E made all sorts of noises before quickly leaving the room.

She had to make everything better. It’s what she did.

What would Tony do in this situation?

It was a stupid question, but it kept circulating around her head.

_“We could be anything we wanted to be, Pep,” Tony said while standing beside her, his fingers flying over a keyboard._

_“Just get it out of me, Tony!” She was taking in gasped breaths of air, trying to stay calm, trying not to explode._

_“We could live forever and be perfect,” he said tonelessly, eyes trained on the computer screen. Pepper laughed loudly, pushing away the panic._

_“You think this would make us perfect? That you could ever be perfect?!” Tony’s finger faltered for just a brief moment and she knew what she was saying was cruel, but he needed to hear this and she was too far gone to put it delicately. “You’d still be you, Tony! No matter what suit of armor or body modification you did! I don’t want to live forever! I don’t want to be one of those super-freaks! And I definitely don’t want to be another one of your pet projects!”_

What would Tony do?

As much as some part of her rebelled against it she knew she had to do something to save Loki.

Poor, lost Loki.

Pepper pulled out a tablet from her purse.

She was CEO of Stark Industries, had connections all over the world, and was a genius in her own right.

_“What does it do?” Pepper asked while tapping her foot on the ground loudly. Tony almost looked guilty, causing her to narrow her eyes further._

_“It’s just to treat my cirrhosis, and makes it possible for Jarvis to track me anywhere in the world.” Tony paused. “Also I can heat up my hands so that they’re never cold again.”_

_“Tony!”_

_“You know I hate when my hands get cold! They’ll only glow a little bit and I’ll never use it in front of anyone else.” Tony looked thoroughly reprimanded._

_“Jarvis?”_

_“Sir, is telling the truth. It only has those three effects.” Pepper held back a scowl._

_“Fine, but I still think you should cut back on your drinking.”_

_“I swear, I most likely, will probably, maybe cut back on my drinking.” He was giving her that smile, the smile she fell in love with all those years ago. She rolled her eyes and grabbed some alcohol swabs from the first aid kit. “I can administer it myself,” he said while frowning._

_“Yes, Tony, I’m well aware that you can inject drugs into your own veins.” She cast him a quick glare and he pointedly did not meet her eyes._

_“That was years ago,” he mumbled._

_“No need to pick up old habits now.”_

_“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Tony eyed her. She smiled._

_“I’ve seen enough medical dramas. I know what I’m doing.”_

Dum-E came back into the room, chirping loudly. In his claw was a greasy fast food bag.

“I’m sorry, honey, but he can’t eat that right now.” She patted the robot on its arm. Dum-E urged it towards her.

“The modified virus is in the bag, Ms. Potts,” Jarvis reported and Pepper slowly took the bag from Dum-E. Bruce gave her a questioning look.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” she asked while pulling the glowing vial from the bag.

“Yes, it will be slow acting as to prevent any further tissue damage. Though I must warn you that once it is in his system it will bond with his DNA and won’t be able to be removed.”

“I figured as much.”

“What is it?” Bruce asked while setting aside his drink.

“A modified version of the Extremis Virus. It will heal these injuries, but will never stop healing…” Pepper slowly filled the syringe.

“I thought he disposed of all of it.” Bruce’s hand twitched and she wondered if he was thinking of stopping her. He, of all people, knew how wrong a lab experiment could go.

“Tony was never one to give up on a project, even when it was killing him.” They both knew she wasn’t talking about the Extremis Virus.

“Inject it into the IV,” Jarvis said and she nodded mutely as Bruce sat back down, one hand covering his trembling bottom lip. She did as instructed and watched the bright orange liquid go through the clear line and into Tony’s veins.

“Is he going to start glowing orange?” Bruce asked when nothing happened.

“No, orange means he’s overheating. I don’t know how long it will take for him to wake up, but when he does he should be fine.” Pepper grabbed her purse from beside her chair and straightened out her outfit.

“Where are you going?” Bruce asked as she turned towards the door. She paused, contemplating her answer. With a small grin she chuckled.

“To play hero.”


End file.
